Avengers

It’s nice every now and then to sit down and read a run of comics… I did it this week with New Avengers. Good old Bendis. Whenever I review a comic of his, I just lay into him and people are shocked by my attacks - it’s as if he’s attacked my family or something - but I just think he’s a very talented guy and he shouldn’t get so sloppy sometimes.
I did enjoy reading the Avengers stuff, but it’s so flawed…
First up, isn’t it funny how comics have changed. Back in the day, the new team would have been set up by the end of issue one. Not so much with Bendis, Wolvy doesn’t appear til issue 5 or so, Sentry’s in and out like a jack in the box…
Okay, let’s look at some fuck-ups…
- Daredevil - if you want him on the team, get him on the team! He’d be cool! But no, he teases us in the first arc, and then there’s the sham that is the Ronin storyline - c’mon, Ronin is a man, Echo does not look like a man!!! Listen, it’s a great idea to have DD on the team as Ronin (surely the original plan), so just do it…!
- The Sentry - what a dull character - I wish Marvel would stop trying to force him down our throats… And the early arc on him is so dull - plus why bring in all those other heroes? Plus Emma Frost? I mean, I’m all for Emma, but this is the Avengers. And then he just disappears for a few issues lol…
- Too many crossovers - If you read the Avengers run on its own, it’s so funny to see Spidey change his costume every other issue with no explanation, and the team changing (because of the events in another book, Civil War). Not good…
- The team: Okay, I’m with this here - JLA is composed of DC’s biggest icons, so Marvel’s Avengers should do the same. It’s great to see Wolvy and Spidey on board, and they so should bring Storm over to the Avengers (and pop Wanda with the X-Men) because Ororo is wasted at the moment in the X-books… But then I’m not sure about the new line-up of New Avengers - the street-level guys… C’mon, could these guys really take on Galactus?
- Spider-Woman - the character with the most convoluted origin ever, just got a whole lot more confusing. Whose side is she on, when did she become a Skrull, and does her Skrullness make it a total waste of money to have bought some of those issues? I was looking forward to her new series, but now I fear it…
- Crossover issues - soooo annoying and too lightweight. That Sentry issue - boy, that‘s 2 quid I‘ll never get back…
- Bendis’ writing - he’s good, I’m a fan, but sometimes it doesn’t work. The banter is great - Spidey and Luke Cage have some great one-liners - but sometimes you wonder if it’s appropriate for the Avengers. It kinda depowers them a bit, brings them down a level. Plus, c’mon, it took them 2 issues to take down the Wrecker? Please. These guys aren’t amateurs.
And then there’s another aspect of the writing - the Hand/Elektra and Hood arcs are in some places incomprehensible. I don’t know if the guy took too much on - but way too many time-jumps in the storytelling.
Plus the Collective storyline - not good, so confusing… What the hell did Xorn have to do with it. Mike Deodato’s confusing art didn’t help…
And finally, too many bloopers… Like one issue, Iron Man struggling to translate Japanese from some attacking Ninjas, and in a couple of issues’ time he mentions he has a universal translator in his suit… Which leads me to…
- And finally, didja get the Spider-Woman Skrull issue recently - the one with the flashbacks? Showing Spider-Woman after she first put her costume back on? Um, well I don’t know who edited this, but Wolverine is in the flashback issue - but he hadn’t actually joined the team at that point. Ouch… Surely between Bendis, the artist and the Editor, someone could have spotted this cock-up…
So all in all - well people think I hate Bendis. No way, I’m all for innovation, and I’d rather be challenged by a comic than read something bland… I just don’t understand why he fucks it up so badly sometimes…

I want my money back

Civil War was okay... The actual series itself was STUPID, but I like the Initiative idea...
But now I've come to realise what everyone who's got a downer on big crossovers has been telling me - Secret Invasion is really bad. I just read Issue 6...and...
NOTHING
HAPPENS...
(AGAIN)
In fact, nothing has happened really since that ship of heroes crash-landed in the Savage Land - and boy did that drag on.
I mean, c'mon, look at the 'previously' page of issue 6 - I like the way they show the cast of characters and put the Skrull characters in a green box... but out of 24 characters on teh issue 6 page, how many are in a green box? A grand total of ...2. Wow, Marvel/Bendis, try not to blow my socks off too much... (In fact, that should be 3, but they missed the green box off Captain Marvel, d'oh).
We wanna see big Skrull reveals, not a never-ending sea of boring super skrulls to battle. 'He loves you' shoulda been George Bush, not God! Now there's a revelation!
And as for issue 6 itself - why did the Hood's Syndicate suddenly join the heroes, without any comment? Why are the last 4 pages just boring fight double page spreads? How on earth is Bendis getting away with this?????? What is the point of all these Skrull double-life reveals, if they only go back a few months? would be so much more exciting if they had been there for years. And wouldn't it be interesting if the Skrulls had a huge plan in place - which they've actually been working on for years and years - instead of just a boring old invasion.
I keep expecting my beloved diamondback to get killed at any moment - she's been in every issue, she's expendable, and who knows, maybe she'll be the 'major death' in the series, just like Black Goliath was.... um.
But all in all, how fucking stupid - set yourself up as a huge crossover - and then present a damp squib. Way to go.
Bendis, you might just redeem yourself if you bring back Storm and Alpha Flight (ie, the character-raped Storm that we've known and not loved over the past decade or so, and my darling Canadian superteam who were so cruelly killed off recently). That'd do me.

The Strangers

Just got in from seeing The Strangers... (spoilers follow, but to be honest, this isn't the most spoil-y film, really, you just go and see it for the scares)
Not a great deal to it - lots of bumps and bangs... Scott Speedman goes missing in the movie... Liv Tyler's too good for something like this...
But if I was stuck in a house surrounded by people terrorising me, I think I'd just get pissed off and stop being so scared, and I'd prob try and beat the living crap out of them.
One strange thing about this film - if you've read the slightest thing about it or even seen the trailer, there are soooo many spoilers and to be honest, pretty much all the scary bits are actually in the trailer. Even the spoil-y pic above is visible in most mags and websites. Even the tagline - 'why are you doing this to us', 'because you were in' - is in the trailer?!!??!!!!!
Not a bad movie, but not amazing (although I did have my hands in front of my eyes for most of it)
6 out of 10!

Frontier(s)

Well this movie crept up on me unawares. Apparently it's by the creators of Switchblade Romance - one of my all time fave films, so i was excited about seeing it.
Oh dear.
It's just nasty and has got no redeeming features at all. Switchblade is gory, but this one's just ridiculous. I don't want to see someone's Achille's Tendon getting cut off thank you, or someone being hung upside-down by hooks through the feet!
The story follows a group of 'hoodlums' who get mixed up with a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type family and end up fighting for their lives (not very successfully).
Maybe they're trying to repeat the success of Switchblade, but here the heroine is nowhere near as good as the main star of SR, as she just seems to spend most of her time stumbling around as if she's just pooed herself (well she probably has, considering all the violence she's gone through).
Thumbs down, I'm afraid!

Being ill is BORING

Well I've just been signed off work for my second week with this viral infection.
It's so so boring. Honestly, when I'm at work, all I do is yearn to be at home, and now I'm here it's just zzzzzzzzz. Cos I'm not well, I don't feel like reading or drawing or anything!
I'm starting to perk up a bit now, and forced myself to read Wolverine Enemy of the State and Young Avengers 1-6.
I seem to remember YOung Avengers being really popular - I thought it was okay, but not very dynamic. Lovely art. But what about the character names! Wiccan is hardly earth-shattering. Hulkling is the worst name ever! What about Incredible or Smash instead? Or Rage (kill off the other Rage dude, he's crap). And Stature??? OUuuuch!!! Isn't there a better name than that???
But it's good to see some new characters out there, because comics do need to keep inventing strong new characters.

Also been watching season one of Millennium. Hehe it's quite funny - way too grim, and unintentionally gay in places...

Also on my list is the Daredevil Frank Miller/Elektra issues and the Star Wars movies... I will defeat boredom!!!

Sandman poster

Ah this takes me back...
DC have released a Sandman poster featuring all the major characters drawn by the series' major artists. Wow, so good to see Dean Ormston back in action with Rose Walker, plus seeing Teddy Kristiansen, Jill Thompson and Marc Hempel in one place makes me yearn for those classic Vertigo days...

Ill again!

Well I'm ill again - this time it's a viral infection and I'm off work for at least a week. Ho hum, bored already... Sadly no energy to draw - but at least it's a good way to lose weight!