Resident Eeeevil 5

Blogs are often a place to ‘vent’ frustrations, or get opinions off your chest.
I’ve kind of tried to stop doing that here, and focus more on talking about Spandex etc, but I have to vent about...Resident Evil 5!
I’ve always had a soft spot for Res Evil games, right back to when my old flatmate recommended RE2 ages ago. I remember playing RE2 and killing all the zombies in the police station (mind you, it took me bloody ages to actually get to the police station) and then not having a fecking clue what to do next. Obviously, you have to take the jewel from that fireplace and insert it into the fountain to carry on. Obviously. Thank god for walk-throughs. These games have such a strange logic to them... You kind of feel stupid for not realising what to do, but happy that you didn’t.
The franchise has kind of meandered along for a while – Codename Veronica wasn’t all that exciting – and then RE4 came along.... Jeeeezus. This game is meaty – so long. And the zombies are TERRIFYING. First up, you’ve got these European villager zombies, who just SCREAM at you ‘haarrr blaahhhh gahhh!’ Then halfway thru, you get the zombie monks who just CHANT at you - ‘urrrmmm baaaa ruummmm’. Aaaargh! And let’s not mention the fucking terrifying chainsaw guy who pops up now and again and is utterly unstoppable.
Such a good game.
So now we have RE5. And I actually bought an Xbox just so I could play it – so it had to be good! But I gotta say, I’m disappointed! The graphics are amazing – we’ve come a long way from RE1 – it’s like you’re in a movie. But the zombies in this one – well, they’re just black people. I don’t really get it – why’s that so scary...? European villagers, yes. Zombie monks, yes. Black zombies. Er, okay.
Maybe it’s my own fault for playing the game on ‘easy’, but it is ridiculously easy, and I feel like I’m ‘wasting’ the set pieces by the fact that I’m zooming thru them.
Oh and let’s not forget Sheba, my useless companion throughout the game. When I’m running out of ammo, she’s there to...just stand there and let me die. While I’m off being a hero, she’s holding the fort, getting killed, thereby ending the game. I was distracted by something else the other day and left my RE5 just sitting there – and if you don’t do anything for a minute, Sheba goes ‘heeeey what’s up’ and other buddy-ish comments. What’s up? You let me die and just stood there even though you had loads of ammo, you stupid cow.
I guess the game is getting better towards the end, now that I’m in this cool complex (all Res Evil games end up in cool complexes). But there’s nothing to beat the horrible ‘plagas’ in RE4, or the huge trolls (we do get one, but just the one – thank god). Even the spiders are actually cute in this game – they were horrible in 4. And one new villain who is quite scary – a strange zombie who turns into a cross between a testicle and a venus fly trap – but he only turns up right towards the end.
So yeah, RE5 is good, but not amazing...